Aikido, Ego and the Modern Path to Self.

I recently used the word “ego” in a discussion regarding self and selflessness whilst training, and it got me thinking—not just about the word, but what it really means in the context of Aikido, and particularly, my training.

It seems the topic triggered some in my aikido circles whilst giving fuel to others to use against me (see the recent article 'The Problem We Don't Talk About'). Ironically, what it has taught me is that conversations about ego can easily be misunderstood. I never set out to upset anyone but as my understanding grows, my self worth and confidence in self-expression, also grows. Ironically, it's pure ego on my part.

One of my favourite quotes from Carl Jung captures this perfectly:

“The experience of the Self is always a defeat for the ego.”

At first glance, that can sound harsh. The ego might seem like something to be destroyed. But Jung had a more subtle message.

Ego vs. Self.

The ego is not the enemy. It is the conscious part of us: the thinker, the planner, the manager of daily life. It’s necessary. But it is not the whole picture. The Self represents the totality of who we are—conscious and unconscious, light and shadow. When Jung talks about the ego being “defeated,” he is describing the humbling of the ego, not its annihilation. It’s the recognition that we are more than what our mind and pride believe we are.

Ego on the Mat.

This is where Aikido brings the concept to life. On the mat, the ego is constantly tested:

• A technique fails, despite our certainty that it should work.

• A partner responds unpredictably.

• Corrections challenge our assumptions.

• Comparisons with others surface.

These moments can feel uncomfortable—but that discomfort is where learning happens.

The ego resists. The Self observes. Aikido forces the confrontation, and in that confrontation, growth occurs.

The Defeat That Expands.

Every challenge to the ego is an opportunity. When the ego is “defeated,” we gain:

• A readiness to learn rather than defend.

• Flexibility in thought, movement, and emotion.

• Awareness of the bigger picture beyond our immediate perception.

In modern life—and in the journey these lessons are invaluable. Success, relationships, and resilience are built not on defending the ego, but on integrating it into something larger.

Different Paths, Shared Lessons.

No two journeys in Aikido—or in life—are the same. People see the art differently. They respond differently. They grow differently. Acknowledging this diversity is essential. Healthy debate, differing perspectives, and even challenge are not threats—they are opportunities for reflection and learning.

It is not about being right or wrong. It is about listening, and learning from everyone around us.

Learning from Each Other.

Aikido is non-competitive, but that doesn’t make it easy. The real challenge is internal: balancing pride and humility, confidence and openness.

Some of the most valuable lessons come not from agreement, but from exposure to perspectives beyond our own. From instructors, training partners, and conversations both on and off the mat.

The Modern Practice of Self.

Recent discussions in the association have been a reminder of this: reflection, dialogue, and openness enrich practice. They mirror what Aikido teaches physically: blending, adapting, and responding with awareness.

Being a. modern aikidoka is not about asserting dominance or always being right. It’s about expanding the self, learning from failure, and integrating ego into a more authentic way of living.

Closing Thoughts.

If the ego seeks certainty, Aikido teaches something else:

• Openness over rigidity.

• Adaptability over control.

• Humility over pride.

The defeat of the ego is not a loss—it is an invitation. An invitation to grow, to see beyond ourselves, and to connect more fully with the people and world around us.

On the mat, and in life, the goal is not to prove who we are. It is to discover it.

Reflection.

It is my approach that my aikido commuinty thrives not just on technique, but on the shared journey of learning and growth. Every conversation, every training session, and every differing perspective contributes to the richness of our practice.

By recognising the role of ego, embracing humility, and remaining open to one another, we strengthen not only ourselves but the community. Diversity in experience and approach is not a challenge to overcome—it is a resource to learn from. In this way, the mat becomes more than a place to practise Aikido; it becomes a space to explore the self, support others, and cultivate the principles that guide us both on and off the mat.